Poetry, Passages, and Reflections from the Sea

Here I am tonight—

exhausted, frustrated, and scared.

Life is what they tell us it is.

We’re born.

We live.

We die.

Sounds pretty damn simple when you put it like that.

But nobody tells you how much can happen in the space between those three little sentences.

How many times you’ll have to pick yourself back up.

How many tears you’ll cry in bathrooms, cars, hospital rooms, and kitchens.

How many times you’ll say,

“I’m fine,”

because explaining that you are absolutely not fine feels like one more thing you don’t have the energy to do.

And I know—I have had triumphs.

I have fought hard for this life.

I fought to find myself.

I fought to become someone I could finally recognize in the mirror.

And I love that woman.

I really do.

But tonight?

She is tired.

Plain, bone-deep tired.

And sometimes I feel like I’m spending the life I fought so hard to find

making sure everyone else can survive theirs.

Please don’t misunderstand me.

I love my people.

I would give pieces of myself to the people I love without thinking twice.

Hell, I already have.

But tonight, I wish I could break.

Not disappear.

Not give up.

Just…break.

Completely.

Because maybe if I broke all the way apart,

someone could put me back together again.

Maybe a little stronger.

A little wiser.

A little less scared of making the wrong decision.

Better equipped to keep everyone safe.

Better at knowing what to do.

Better for everyone who needs me.

And there it is, isn’t it?

Even in my fantasy of falling apart,

I’m worried about coming back better for everybody else.

Not me.

Them.

Because somewhere along the way, I learned that I need to be okay so everyone else can be okay.

So tonight, I don’t need answers.

I don’t need another lesson in being strong.

God knows I’ve had enough character-building exercises to last a lifetime.

I just want my mind to be quiet.

I want to lay down the decisions, the worry, the what-ifs, the responsibilities, and the fear.

Just for a little while.

Let my weary thoughts rest.

Let me stop trying to fix everything.

Let me stop worrying that my own feelings might somehow make life harder for somebody else.

And maybe—just maybe—

let me remember that the woman holding everyone together

is allowed to need holding, too

—Christal— October 6, 2026

—Christal— October 6, 2026

Like so many days, but... TODAY, there's a much-needed breeze, a gentle rhythm in the waves, and a quiet that feels like peace.

It's here that I realize just how healing nature can be-especially on the days when words can't quiet the fears or soothe the hurts, when the things haunting your heart are simply too difficult to speak aloud.

I sit and watch the waves meet my trusted companion as she carries me toward that magical place where the water meets the sunset.

THIS is where I am reminded that no matter the storm, you can always find refuge.

—Christal— August 3, 2026

These diamonds are this girl’s best friend. 💎✨⛵️Every sparkle reminds me that the best things in life aren’t worn… they’re experienced. 💙🌊 I wear them and sail through them ⛵️😁☀️☀️

—Christal— July 27, 2026

Posted from the Deck of Tyne Cot

The sails are full, the waters are calm, and the sunset is putting on a show. Sometimes the best place to find peace is somewhere between the wind and the horizon.

Wishing you many more beautiful evenings aboard Tyne Cot.

Those sunset sails make for some unforgettable memories.

—Christal— 5-30-2026

Posted from the Deck of Tyne Cot

Sometimes captain Dustin makes his second mate (me) get out and go on a personal sail. He is again amazing letting me relax and recover from surgery. I'm not gonna brag to much but I think he loves me a little

—Christal— 5-8-2026